a topic i thought i was all over.

awareness is the ability to directly know and perceive, to feel, or to be cognizant of events. more broadly, it is the state of being conscious of something.

fuck, am i conscious of myself. i thought i was. i know i am very aware of what goes on around me. on the outside. and aware of the energy in others. but being aware of the inside sometimes scares the shit out of me. my curiosity usually takes me down a path of why am i feeling like that? what am i making this mean? removing the emotion. reminding myself that it is what it is. looking to see how i can move forward. with love, softness and being able to be open. but this time my thought path is so much deeper.

i had fucked my own mind. i was imagining a big fat scribble around my head.

this time the depth was nothing i had experienced before. a depth of awareness or consciousness that maybe if i had a glimpse of before, i would have turned my head. I’m usually scared to dive deeper into the fear of the unknown. the fear of being in the dark. does being in the dark mean you’re going to be all alone? is this the unknown or do i actually already know the unknown and i’m choosing not to see it.

awareness is our topic for this month. it’s the opportunity for me to get real and raw with you. i want to let you know where i’m at and what im going through. bring awareness to myself, to my tribe and the soba creature community.

i’m almost finished writing the blog which is why the edm it is out late and i’m almost there.

so until then. i pose to you – what is the unknown for you? what do you already know but have been suppressing? what are you using to distract yourself? instead of dealing with what is actually going on?

take this as your ‘stopping cue’ – more to come.