d a y z e r o
so, tomorrow is the first day of my twenty-one – actually scratch that – 30 day challenge. I’m excited, but also shitting myself. this all started one night while having a wine with ash and gabi. all i was wanting was ash to give me some great advice (like she always does) – perhaps some stretching and breathing techniques, so i can start 2018 well + have a more positive outlook on life. i always seem to struggle at the start of each year, because i stupidly look back at the past year and assess what i have accomplished + all the things i haven’t accomplished – my mind obviously emphasising the haven’t. but this year is going to be different. also, i should add that ill be turning 26 on february 15th. hence the thirty day challenge instead of the twenty-one day.

anyway, here are the things i think know about the challenge:
1. its going to be fucking hard! i haven’t done much exercise recently, purely from a lack of motivation, so this should be very interesting.
2. i’m going to have to get up ridiculously early (i’m definitely not a morning person).
3. i’m nervous about mat pilates and hiit classes – mainly because i can’t do sit ups and that’s something i’m conscious about.
4. i’m going to be very sore and i stupidly got sunburnt yesterday.. whoops! That’s going to be fun putting tights on tomorrow.
5. I’m going to be tired. all the time. so early bed time for me!

when i finish the 21/30 day challenge ill let you know what i didn’t know and all the things i learnt.

also, i can’t start a challenge without setting myself some goals.
1. i would like to change my mindset about exercising.
2. work out what my self worth is and feel better about myself.
3. lose weight.
4. i would love to build more muscle and become stronger (not just physically but mentally, as well).
5. be able to do sits ups haha

d a y o n e 8 : 2 5 a m
today is the day! i’ve woken up today feeling very tired, which i knew i would be, so i’ve booked myself into the 5:30 mat pilates class after work. i had my dad to take some photos of me in my togs for motivation + so i can see my progress over the next thirty days. while my dad was taking the photos he made a comment about how unflattering the photos were – haha thanks dad, real supportive! but he’s right – the photos aren’t suppose to be flattering. a small factor of this challenge is to lose some of the weight that has added on over the past year.

7 : 2 5 p m
holy fuck! mat pilates was a lot harder than i had ever imagined. i’ve done reformer pilates, so i thought i had some idea on what sammy was going to make us do, but i clearly had that wrong. so sit ups are definitely not the only thing i can’t do. my arms currently hurt just writing this and i’m scared of how sore my whole body will be tomorrow. i also wore the wrong undies, which was so annoying. all i kept thinking about, was how much pain i was in + how uncomfortable my undies were. not a great combination!
on a positive side, it wasn’t anywhere as daunting as i thought it would be. i made a friend danni – she was so lovely, she gave me the heads up that it was going to be hard + of course, in the first five minutes, we did planks. thanks for the warning! we had a few laughs during the class, mainly laughing at me and how the pain just kept coming. as bad as this sounds it was actually really nice to know someone else was in as much pain as me.

there’s a list on the wall of other fellow SoBa babes that are doing the twenty-one day challenge and we get to mark off each class we do, which i find super satisfying.
one down, twenty-nine to go!

d a y t w o
okay, so i don’t have much to say tonight because i’m extremely tired and my arms hurt. i did my first hiit class + again, didn’t realise how hard it was going to be. the different stations were a lot of fun + glad both rounds were different, because i hate knowing that once you finish one round, you have to do all the same exercises again. i met another SoBa babe erin, who is also doing the challenge (i met her last night but i didn’t get her name). she shared her thoughts on all the classes and what to expect which was really nice.
it’s eight o’clock and i’m off to bed because i have to get up at 5am… to put in perspective on how much pain i’m currently in, from just two classes… it hurts to sneeze (yep i’m royally fucked)
two down, twenty-eight to go!

d a y t h r e e
today was tough! i didn’t have a very good sleep last night. i woke up about 5 times, i don’t sleep that well in general because i struggle to shut my brain off. i’m use to it, but i thought exercising would make me more tired. last night could have been a combo of things though, maybe how sore i am (haha) and sometimes i get anxiety about not waking up when my alarms goes off (not that i’ve never not woken up) but i hate being late. i know that might sound stupid, but it’s all a mental battle for me. the class was really good, did barre classic, which i haven’t done since ash first started barre brisbane.
note to self – need to practice planking, because apparently all the instructors love planks and love to inflict pain on you. i thought i would struggle a bit more during the day, having done a morning class, but i just made sure i ate something when i was hungry and drank plenty of water. i even had netball tonight! off to bed i go – again, earlier than i normally would but i need to listen to how tired my body is. i’m going to do some deep breathing to slow my body down to see if that might help get a better night’s sleep. i swear at the end of every class in relaxation, i nearly fall asleep and then i’m nervous because what if i fall a sleep and snore or even worse, fart haha. are other people thinking the same thing?
three down twenty-seven to go!

d a y f o u r
didn’t have a good night’s sleep. ash said to get some magnesium tablets, so i’ve added that to my shopping list for tomorrow. i had a really busy day at work today, it went quickly but felt like i couldn’t keep up with everything i had to do. when i left work, i was really feeling pretty unsettled, but off the stretch i went. it was exactly what i needed. as soon as i got there, i forgot how busy my day was + that unsettling feeling in my stomach disappeared. i’m definitely going to do a stretch class a week. it was amazing to give my body a rest and a really good stretch. ash taught us some great stretches tonight that i’m going to do at home before i go to bed. i have a lot of trouble with my back (having big boobs has its flaws ) but i’ve found barre helps me with my posture and will hopefully build up the muscles in my back. tomorrow i have a big day… mat pilates again – why did i do this to myself?! then after my class, i have to rush off to take my car to get serviced, then off to my other job! but i got this! i can’t even remember what i did in my first mat pilates class it feels that long ago. well all i can remember is how much pain i was in!
four down twenty-six to go!

d a y f i v e
day five wooohooo! felt pretty good waking up this morning at 5am and for some reason, i was excited to go to class (what is happening to me) – you just feel so good after the class! that great feeling i woke up with today slowly started to wear off around 10am and then again at 1pm, so i got up from my computer and did a few stretches (looked like an idiot, but who cares) i’ve noticed i’m feeling a lot calmer and relaxed just in general, which is so refreshing. it seems that 2018 isn’t going to be as daunting as i originally thought. after all, this is why i’m challenging myself – so i can work out what my self worth is, be more confident, be me and finally feel fucking great in my own skin. over the past few months, i’ve put a lot of pressure on myself to start my business and hit all the goals i had planned. looking back at those goals, i now realise they were so unrealistic and i needed to work on myself before i could build my business. i want to focus on the now and focus on how i’m feeling – not worry about things that haven’t happened yet. i want to get the most out of my life + if that means getting up at 5am most mornings to go to barre, being in extreme pain, looking like an idiot when i can’t get my foot up onto the bar (it’s happened twice already), then that’s what i’m going to do.
five down twenty-five to go!

d a y s i x
this morning i did gabi’s barre classic class and i have to make a point of saying gabi’s class, because jesus, it was hard. it felt like it went on and on with every exercise getting harder. when we were finishing with abs (who ends with abs? that’s just rude) i felt like just lying there, pretending i had hurt myself + couldn’t go on. she wanted us to straighten our legs and have them up to the sky while doing crunches. yep, that’s a hard no from me. my legs couldn’t go straight, i even tried to move them with my hands but nope i had barley any energy left, so bent legs it was for me. even though i’ve spent this whole diary entry complaining about the class, i secretly loved it. she pushes you to your limit + you feel awesome after the class… well maybe like a few hours later! i went to breakfast with the girls afterwards + it was awesome to be able to talk to them about how i’m going and feeling so far. started the day off with a high and after finished a very long day at work, this also being my sixth day of work in a row, all i wanted was a big glass of wine or a yummy cocktail. i headed to my uncle’s birthday dinner, feeling pretty good about myself, had one cocktail and i hit a wall. it was 8 o’clock and all i wanted to do was go to bed. once i finally stopped and sat down, i think the whole week had finally caught up to me. i was exhausted, my body isn’t use to this much exercise or pain haha. so i’m off to bed at 9:30 on a saturday night.
six down twenty-four to go!

d a y s e v e n
the struggle was real today. normally on sunday i let myself sleep in, but not today. i was up at 7 + headed off to my create your state class with ash at the northgate studio. that studio is super cute, but i was clearly still half asleep when i got there, as i awkwardly tried to open the wrong door to the studio. then, when i got inside, ash said to put my stuff in the other room… so what did i do? – put my stuff on the floor in the equipment room + not in the designated locker room area. ash and i had a good laugh. this was my first create your state class and it was amazing, we worked on kindness + what we could contribute to the world + the people that you surround yourself with. i found it hard at times to concentrate + went off into my own world / thoughts, but the more meditation i do, the more focused i’ll be. after the class, i went out for breakfast + went home to sleep for three hours. did i mention i love sleeping? i’m ready for what this next week brings + i’m going to try some of the other classes. bring on the pain!
seven down, twenty-three to go!

d a y e i g h t
week two – this should be interesting! i’m surprisingly not feeling that bad tonight. i just did ash’s barre classic, but it was more like bikram barre, because it was so god damn hot. i really enjoyed the class tonight, maybe because i was able to finally do some of the exercises without having a break ( or lie down ) and ash didn’t make us do any planks… yes, that’s right – no planks for me tonight! the next few days are going to be tough though. I can kind of just sense it.
eight down, twenty-two to go.

d a y n i n e
how the fuck do people get up at 5am? actually, the better question is “why the fuck do people get up at 5am?” you could have so many more hours to sleep – like what time do people go to bed? also, answer me this for me – why is it, on the days you have to get up early, your body doesn’t want a bar(re) of it + then the days you’re able to sleep in, your body is wide awake at 5.30am? i don’t get it and i’m over it.
today was the first day i actually didn’t want to go to barre (sorry ash) – i was exhausted and, again, i had a terrible night’s sleep. i just generally didn’t feel like moving my body, but i had booked myself in for fierce flow (which i hadn’t done before) + it was definitely too late to cancel. plus, gabi had probably already seen my name on this list + i couldn’t let her down haha.
two words to describe fierce flow – fucking challenging. again, didn’t realise how hard it was going to be. i thought it was a chilled yoga session. i’ve also never done yoga… that was my first mistake. despite this, i actually really enjoyed it. i need to work on my balance + my bloody core, because there’s a lot of planking – surprise, surprise! i finally bought magnesium tablets today, so hopefully they help with my sleeping and my aching body.
nine down, twenty-one to go!

d a y t e n
i nearly cried today after class… i am exhausted. this morning was worse than yesterday. i knew if i let myself cry, everything else would come out, then i’d look like a puffer fish (i’m not a pretty crier) + knowing me id probably get a headache, which would just add to everything else. i did barre move for the first time today + let me assure you, i definitely didn’t want to be ‘barre moving’. ash kept saying, “it’s only forty-five minutes + then you’re done.” easy for her to say, she’s bloody fit. so, i just kept thinking “i can do this, its only temporary pain + then i can have power nap in relaxation.” i would really love some sleep, or a big glass of wine, but its only 9am haha. i can’t even have an early night either, because i have netball tonight. oh well, i just have to suck it up + keep telling myself that i can do this! i totally can.
ten down, twenty to go!

d a y e l e v e n
when i agreed to this challenge, i was so focused / distracted by what was about to come, i completely forgot i had booked a little holiday for the australia day weekend. which sucks, because i’m missing out on three days of classes. so, i met ash this morning at the new farm studio ( also so nice, definitely have to do a class there ) before i headed down to byron. i walked in the door + ash already knew how exhausted i was, so we did some stretching + meditation. we listened to a recording of a lady talking about how to be the best version of yourself – that “you need to do you” + making sure you know how awesome you are. sometimes i have moments when i’m like, “shit yeah, i’m nailing life, don’t know why i’m still single” + then other times, i second guess myself + completely lack that confidence. today was one of those days. i wasn’t loving myself. i just felt deflated + numb to the world, which is a very familiar feeling for me. so, hearing this lady give me a pep talk was exactly what i needed. i’ve got the whole 2 hour drive down to byron to really reminisce on the past eleven days, how i’m feeling mentally (we all know how i’m feeling physically) + how to use the techniques i’ve learnt so far to change my train of thought.
eleven down, nineteen to go!

d a y t w e l v e
okay, i’m just going to be completely honest and real, as that’s what i promised. i had spoken to ash yesterday about things i could do while i’m away. i’m really competitive when it comes to certain things + missing three days of classes makes me feel like i haven’t completed the challenge, but at the same time, i’m really enjoying this holiday. i worked over christmas, so this was my time that i planned. i had the intention to go for a big walk this morning – i had all my exercise gear packed + even had a plan to sneak out before anyone else woke up. turns out i didn’t go to bed last night until 4am – haha whoops. instead of doing a barre class i embarrassingly + drunkenly danced the night away. i’ve woken up this morning and my calves are killing, so i’m thinking that maybe i dropped it like it’s hot a bit too much. i think i might do some extra classes to make up for the days i missed. i say that now, but who’s knows if i’ll actually do it.
twelve down, eighteen to go

d a y t h i r t e e n
does lifting my arm up to my mouth with a drink in hand count as exercising? because it should. i’m very good at it. i spent the day in the pool, which felt so good for my body. i’m heading to noosa today for my aunties 50th… yes, i know, another double booking (idiot) so, i’m driving from byron to noosa, but it’s fine – i can spend the time in the car, listening to a meditation. so much time to myself this weekend. i might even go for a walk when i get to noosa.
thirteen down, seventeen to go!

d a y f o u r t e e n
today i up early and spent the day on the noosa river on a hire boat – it was amazing. again, i spent the whole day in the water. i put on lots of sunscreen, wore a hat and kept hydrated, except somehow i still managed to get burnt. i’ve had an awesome little break with friends + family, but it’s back to the regular routine tomorrow, which i’m actually excited about.
fourteen down, sixteen to go!

d a y f i f t e e n
turns out i’m a lot more sunburnt than originally thought – to the point of not being able to wear a bra, which means i definitely cannot wear a sports bra. unfortunately, no class for me tonight 🙁 i attempted to stretch when i arrived home after work, but i was really restless – being in those positions for longer than two minutes was difficult.
fifteen down, fifteen to go! (half way wooo)

d a y s i x t e e n
ash was supposed to take tonight’s class, but swapped with gabi. we all know what that means – fierce barre is it! tonight was so incredibly hot, we had two people walk out because of the heat + even gabi was feeling it. felt pretty good after though, considering it was my first class back in a while. this is going to sound silly, but i kinda missed it. i never thought i would be the one to say that. my body will definitely be sore tomorrow, but like ash says, its only temporary.
sixteen down, fourteen to go!

d a y s e v e n t e e n
i struggled this morning – my body was very slow and tired. ash was taking our class this morning + decided to change it to a stretch class instead of barre. at first i was a little disappointed, because i had psyched myself up for a barre class, then i thought, who am i kidding, i’m not that person – bring on stretch and relaxation time! i always forget how much i need to do a stretch class and how tight my body and muscles get. so worthwhile.
seventeen down, thirteen to go!

d a y e i g h t e e n
my barre classic class today was at northgate + it was only myself and another lady who was just starting off with SoBa. again, i was glad we were mixing the class up and it was fun to teach someone all the exercises we do. after that class, i did a create your state class, which was awesome. i love just letting my mind follow everything that ash says. i feel like it’s a great way to let your emotions out, because you’re in a safe environment.

holy shit how is it february already? so, count down is on – fourteen days until valentines day (boo) + fifteen days until this is all over / my birthday! i’m just going to have a little whinge, because i haven’t whinged enough yet (what a joke). as lame as this sounds, i think we should celebrate love every day. this has always been a really soft spot for me. i’ve never had a special valentines day, which makes me really sad + then to make it worse, it’s my birthday the next day, so it’s like, here we go again – single, alone + another bloody year older. at least flowers are discounted the day after valentines day, that’s a win. this year seems a little different, though. doing the thirty day challenge has really helped me shift my mindset about my life. i’m a lot calmer, more focused, much happier + just generally more motivated for life. that’s a win.
eighteen down, twelve to go!

d a y n i n e t e e n
i’ve been struggling quite a lot this week in terms of writing down how i’m feeling after each day + class. i spoke to ash about it + she said there’s always a reason behind everything, so i need to sit + break it all down. i was actually really nervous when i received the notification from SoBa regarding my diary entries on the blog. i’ve never really written down my thoughts, let alone had other people read them. i was worried that as the days go by, i would just be repeating myself – no one wants to read me complaining the whole time, over + over again. ash said to go deeper in – stop resisting myself from feeling.

so, here goes nothing, i promised you real + true.

i like to get to class early so i can get to the spot near the fan. this next bit i’m about to write is quite hard for me to say + only really my close friends/family know about it. i have a really rare skin condition called aquagenic urticaria… i’m allergic to water! when i say rare, i mean one in twenty-five million rare, which is pretty cool, but also fucking sucks. basically, every time my skin comes in contact with water, i get a really severe rash all over my body. imagine every time you shower, sweat (which is the worst), when it rains, when you cry, when you use face wipes, moisturiser, most make up products, drooling in your sleep, sunscreen (hence why its easier for me to get burnt), pretty much anything that is liquid based, i react to. the best way to explain the pain i’m in is likening it to having mosquito bites all over your body. it’s so incredibly itchy + usually lasts around two hours. so, if i’m going anywhere, i have to make sure i shower at least two hours before, so that the rash may clam down. i will always usually have one or two little rashes on my body, because there’s either moisture in the air or i’m sweaty haha. no one would know, because i’m very good at hiding it. i pretty much only wear muscle t-shirts and full length tights. the rash is worse on my chest (doesn’t help i also have big boobs – more surface area haha) but the high neck singles hide the rash. so there you have it, my annoying little secret + why i hog the fan.
nineteen down, eleven to go!

d a y t w e n t y
the class this morning was really good. i don’t have much to say today, because i seemed to have released my words yesterday.
twenty down, ten to go!

d a y t w e n t y – o n e
oh my god, my worst fear happened today. i knew it would happen at some point… i fell asleep in class today – not just once, but twice. i don’t know if anyone else has fallen asleep in class, but it’s something that i’m nervous about. the first time it happened, i was like “right need to focus, need to not fall asleep again.” i tried really hard to listen to what ash was saying… + then it happened again! i had a really big two days at work, i’m tired, i’m house/dog sitting at the moment, i’m not sleeping well – it was bound to happen.
twenty-one down, nine to go!

d a y t w e n t y – t w o
we were supposed to have ash tonight, instead we had gabi. again, fierce barre it is! as soon as i walked into class, there was a different energy in the room. there were a few newbies, which is always nice to see people giving it a go. no one was afraid to make noises or complain when gabi was telling us to go lower in our squats, which was really funny.
twenty-two down, eight to go!

d a y t w e n t y – t h r e e
i struggled big time tonight, but it wasn’t from the exercises. first of all, someone had taken my spot next to the fan, which already put me off, because it was already hot! then the lady to my right was super tall and super quick… she was out of time pretty much the whole class. i don’t know whether she was trying to make up for the fact that her limbs were longer so she had to go down further, or she just hadn’t been in a while – who knows, but it was annoying. + of course, the lady to my left was too slow. oh my god – me in the middle of them, trying to squat to the beat + i am just not hitting it. plus, i’m over heating because the fan can’t reach me + i’m just all round flustered haha. by the end of it, i just had to laugh about it!
twenty-three down, seven to go!