listening is an art. i feel you learn when you listen. listening to your body, nature, the universe. i feel we as humans tend to listen to the world around us – white noise from others instead of our own voice. sometimes i feel people don’t actually listen to me or others when talking. they only hear. people speak at each other with an intent to reply, not actually digesting what the person has to say, only validating themselves + their own beliefs without fully understanding what the other person’s message is.
have a think to your last in-depth conversation with some one. a ‘dnm’ one might call it. were you intoxicated, high or sober? what let you break down your mighty big wall of inhibitions? what did you talk about? how long for? why were you connecting?
i’m about to burst your bubble, but i don’t have the answers as to why you felt so comfortable – only you do in your mind.
i’m currently sitting on the west end balcony after recording a podcast with mitch (aka hazlett) a friend of mine. we connected. we spoke. we listened. we learnt. it made me start thinking how rare deep, meaningful conversations are in today’s society. i feel to the average human it might be when you have had a few vinos after a long week or a night out in the smoker’s area, but most would always have a consistent vice to protect ourselves in case it all gets a bit too real.
why do we have that safe guard? what are we so afraid of? aren’t we all the same, anyway? i believe we are. i think when we look at someone without speaking to them, we can be so judgmental – purely based on there visual appearance, or our own pre-conceived fears. people are so much more than how they appear, or how you think they are going to act. i tested this theory a few times to prove that appearance isn’t everything + sometimes a fear based story is just that – a made up story. i wanted to prove that when you actually listen to someone, your perception about them can be flipped completely.
- jaywalker – i was at an intersection, on foot, waiting for the little green man to flicker. for a time that seemed like forever, the red man just kept flashing. i noticed an extremely dishevelled male, late fifties, tall + appeared to be sad. he was standing at the other side of the road, also waiting to cross. he had a tattoo on his face + neck, his hair was matted. growing up, we are told about stranger danger – don’t talk to people you don’t know, which i totally can understand, but i’m a twenty-nine year old female, walking in broad daylight, with traffic all around me – i think this interaction will be safe. i made eye contact with him as we were both patiently waiting for this green little man to pop up. i smiled + started to jaywalk. i piped up as i walked closer to his side. “ i don’t think the buttons are working, i’ve decided to just go.” he replied, “i noticed,” + laughed as i was getting closer. as i passed i wished him a happy day, to which he replied with, “thank you.” i said, “what for? crossing? or telling you to have a lovely day?” he said, “for seeing me, love.” i smiled, said “no problem,” + kept walking. i didn’t look back, but it made me realise how harsh we can be, purely based from our own fears.
- happy touch – i was finishing a class at west end, a creature (aka client) was in child pose + happened to be a few months pregnant. i gently pressed + massaged her lower back for no more than thirty seconds + went onto the next client before moving into relaxation. at the start of the class, when she arrived, she had this presence, this glow, energy oozing from her skin, she smiled. i pondered before the class had started – before the music filled my ears – i thought how incredible she must feel at the moment. after relaxation she walked towards me with a sad look in her eyes. her voice kindly whispered, “thank you”. usually, i would respond straight away – start filling the silence – but this time i paused + listened. her words followed along with tears, “i haven’t been touched by another human in such a long time. my family live interstate + my partner has been travelling for work. so, thank you.” i smiled again, hugged her + i whispered that it was my pleasure.
this is my gentle reminder to you all + to myself to slow down, stop + be aware of what is going on around you, without judgment + listen.
that is where the magic is baby.