what would happen if someone told you that anything you wanted, you could have… but i’m being serious. i know this sounds very cliché, but it can happen. everything i placed on my visual goal board, i completed, smashed it. e v e r y t h i n g. now, it definitely didn’t happen over night – that was for sure. it was not easy, but here i am. and how is this for a plot twist – once i achieved one of those goals, i realised it didn’t bring the desired result i had hoped for, which now has me revaluating what i want in life and what value my material possessions have. the world works in wonderful ways.
after reflecting over 2017, flicking through my journal, i noticed i had my fair share of low points – fear, self-loathing, self-doubt, pain and confusion. in these moments, i needed a billboard at the front of my driveway boldly stating, “get back to your goals girrrrlllll. you are getting distracted”. luckily, a dear friend of mine, kersten, delivered the few lines i needed to hear the most and placed me back on track. i didn’t overly enjoy hearing it, but she was being honest. i value her for challenging me for my own benefit. kersten kept me accountable (which i will talk about later).
i thought i would share what items were on my goal board:
- open another studio.
- new car that can fit a ballet barre inside (as last car was a smart car, lol)
- stand up for more then 10 seconds on a surfboard
- be comfortable in my own body.
- attract a partner with similar values and vision for life, so we can grow and learn together.
below is each goal, with the tools that worked for me and/or lessons i learnt from achieving them.
- open another studio – tick – i opened new farm and northside studios in mid october. the planning had started in april for one studio then came august, was quickly turned into two. this wouldn’t have been able to happen without my morning routine – meditation, stretching, journaling, list making and lemon water (in no particular order). i need to set my morning up for success, so it may flow throughout the day. i find by completing my routine in the morning, i am able to remain calm and present in any chaotic situation that definitely will arise. my morning routine also sets my mental state for the day, which is so important for my productivity and drive. another big one, is surrounding myself with people who only see the best in me, so i may also see the best in me and others. my tribe is everything – without them, i would have no one to hold me accountable for anything i do. i mentioned before how my friend kersten kept me accountable to my goal of opening the studios – her conversation was a real game changer in my approach and SoBa may not be here today without that kick up the butt. so, as you can see, my tribe is everything – they challenge me, they are always honest – no sugar coating (even if i’m not going to like the raw, unfiltered answer) real honesty – yeah it’s a thing and a bit of a rarity in today’s world. my tribe is a mix 4-6 people – a blend of friends, staff and mentors, who i hold very closely.
- new car to fit ballet barres – tick – tools were pretty stock standard here, although even though i achieved this goal, here is where i learnt my lesson. new shiny cars do not make you happy and won’t make you feel better after a break up. after being in the car, driving here, there and everywhere when i opened the studios, it made me miss walking. don’t underestimate the power of walking, no music, no podcast, only pondering and the noises around you. i find walking from home, to the studio, to meetings is so grounding. it clears my mind and brings me back to my why, my purpose and i usually always notice something i’m grateful for. this also made me appreciate my alone time – ideally, i’ve discovered no less then 90 minutes a day is necessary for me.
- stand up for more then 10 seconds on a surfboard – tick – this was the first goal i ticked off for the year at our noosa retreat, which seems like a life time ago. sadly, i can count on one hand my how many times i surfed in 2017, so the lesson i learnt here, is to be more assertive in scheduling time for me, outside of work activities.
- being comfortable in my own body – tick – this has taken me an entire year (or a life time, really) to get my head around. it was tough. i started the year liking me, but i wasn’t listening to what my body was craving and it wasn’t enough. fitness was failing me. i wasn’t content with my body or who i was, which kept me pushing and pushing. forcing my body to do everything. my whole life, it’s been engrained in me to “feel good” by numbers. numbers going into your body. numbers you are burning. numbers on your clothes. numbers on the scales. ffs enough of the numbers. after retaining fluid, feeling fatigued and lethargic for weeks at a time, while having a mere smidgin’ of self-love, i altered my mindset away from numbers. numbers are all bs. listen to your body. right now, really listen. what is bothering you? break it down. what body maintenance do you require? break it down in that moment – touch, stretch, rest, sweat, movement, affection, nutrition, sleep. what do you need in that instance? don’t withhold yourself from receiving that – be open. it has taken me almost a year to alter the way i think about my body. i had to make a conscious effort every single day. from learning how to rest, positive thoughts, taking time for self love (like looking at your body in the mirror and appreciating every curve, every freckle, every scar). then there was self-pleasure – i was single for the majority of this year and i was denying myself of human touch. in came mindful eating – only eating when hungry. you don’t necessarily have to eat three times a day, guess what – when you stomach grumbles it’s telling you that you are hungry – how freakin’ amazing. mind blown! so give yourself some credit – throw away the scales, cut off your clothes tags, write happy thoughts across your walls, tune into your intestines, baby, because you are one mighty fine specimen.
- create a space to attract a partner with very similar values and vision for life.
writing things down for me is so powerful. at the start of february, i wrote down my values and what i wanted out of life. i then listed what my ideal partner would be interested in. later in the year, when i was dating, i had my guard up. i was saying things like, “i am strong,” “i am independent,” “i don’t need anyone.” this was then attracting the exact same people into my life. i wasn’t allowing myself to be open and vulnerable to new possibilities in a relationship. i was so familiar with only giving, that i had forgotten what it was like to receive. once i started falling in love with my body, and myself, i became softer, more open and more in tune with who i was and what i wanted. i started to understand my worth and my value. i brought so much to the table and if it didn’t flow, i was not interested in forcing it. don’t get me wrong, this took a solid 6 months of small talk texting, strained interactions and what i thought was meaningful sex, but with thoughtless cuddles – whatever i needed to tell myself to be okay with a triangle fitting into a square. now, here i am at the end of 2017 – i’m in a free flowing relationship with so much ease, unconditional love, vulnerability, connection and commitment. by me staying true to my worth and what i want, it sets a standard and the tone. by aligning that with a soft and open approach (on anything and everything) we can work together, as a team, consistently growing and strengthening our connection.
i haven’t been able to finalise my goals for 2018. i’m still evaluating where i want to channel my energy and what is going to add value to my life. time is our biggest commodity, so i have to choose carefully. my goals will range in areas of personal development, relationships, strengthening SoBa and big picture dreaming.
honestly, don’t underestimate the power of writing down your goals, dreaming big, and challenging societies standards and beliefs. who said you can’t open your second and third studios at the same time?
“most people overestimate what they can do in a year, and underestimate what they can do in ten years.”
– bill gates