reduced stress, better sleep + lower risk of heart disease? no, thank you.

no wonder four out of five creatures at our studios are female.


o n e

because stress, anxiety + depression make life so much more interesting. stability is overrated. who cares if deep breathing techniques have been shown to be beneficial for anxiety, depression, stress, ptsd + stress-related mental illnesses?


t w o

and you’ve never had any trouble with back pain, right? in that case, you definitely won’t be interested to know that yoga + pilates has been shown to be effective treatment for chronic lower back pain.


t h r e e

what would you even do with all that extra balance, flexibility + stamina? you never deal with aches, tightness, or tiredness, right? great! no need to increase your quality of life, then.


f o u r

it’s probably best if you don’t get any better at the exercise + sports you already do.

 [ cough  cough ]


f i v e

you might have to be less anxious or happier. in a study comparing the effects of yoga + pilates, to a similar amount of walking, the two were associated with greater mood improvement + anxiety reduction. hard pass.


s i x

you might even have to stay alive longer. how draining! researchers found that yoga + pilates, as part of a healthier lifestyle, might help early stage prostate cancer patients live longer. but why prolong the inevitable, right?


s e v e n

your posture could improve + no one likes a confident looking man. increased flexibility + core strength make you more likely to sit tall + notice when you don’t. but never mind that, your trusty old office chair’s got your back support covered.


e i g h t

keeping your lungs too healthy seems kind of unnecessary. like, do lungs even do anything important? the ability to breathe deeply does alter your quality of life in the slightest, we heard.


so, that’s a wrap boys. eight reasons why yoga + pilates just wouldn’t be for you.

play it safe + just avoid our epic classes all together.